Here comes the second video of hand-picked short and funny jokes. This friendly, clean humor is easy to share with your favorite people, no strings attached. Smile on and spread the positive vibes!
“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin
Do you know how many famous men and women were born on your birthday?
– None, only babies.
I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.
If you have six apples in one hand and four oranges in the other, what do you have?
– Big hands.
Don’t get too excited about turning 22; your birthday party will be so short.
– Haha, why?
Because it’s your 20-second birthday.
“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” – Will Ferrell
My wife accused me of being immature. I told her to go out of my fort.
Student: Can you teach me to do the splits?
Instructor: How flexible are you?
Student: I can’t make Tuesdays.
What do you think of that new restaurant on the moon?
– The food is great, but there’s not much atmosphere.
What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner!
“All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.” – Spike Milligan
So what are you doing today?
But you were doing nothing the whole day yesterday?!
– That’s right, and I’m not finished yet.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station…
Boss: Send me one of your funny jokes!
Me: I’m busy working. I’ll send one later.
Boss: That’s hilarious. Send another one!
I don’t mind coming to work; it’s the 8-hour wait to go home I can’t stand.
“The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.” – Franklin P. Jones
Do you know why you never see elephants hiding up in trees?
– Because they’re really good at it.
What did the 0 say to the 8? Nice belt!
I spent five minutes fixing a broken clock yesterday. At least, I think it was five minutes…
Set your Wi-Fi password to 244466666. So when someone asks, you can tell them it’s 123456.
“The best way to teach your kids about taxes is by eating 30 percent of their ice cream.” – Bill Murray
A recent study shows that out of 1,724,512,947 people, 97% are actually too lazy to read that number.
What time is it when a ball goes through the window?
– Time to get a new window…
If I got 50 cents for every failed math exam, I’d have $6.30 now.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
– Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all!
“Some of us learn from other people’s mistakes, and the rest of us have to be the other people.” – Zig Ziglar