If there were an American literature hall of fame, Mark Twain would have had a central place in it. This incredible collection of witty Mark Twain quotes is filled with a great many insights but also a refined sense of humor.
30 Witty and Amusing Sayings by Mark Twain
- Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
- Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
- Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
- The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.
- Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.
- Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
- Golf is a good walk spoiled.
- Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.
- A person who won’t read has no advantage over one who can’t read.
- All generalizations are false, including this one.
- My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
- A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.
- There is nothing so annoying as to have two people go right on talking when you’re interrupting.
- Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
- I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
- Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
- ‘Classic’ – a book which people praise and don’t read.
- Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
- When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.
- Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.
- It’s better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt.
- Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.
- A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
- When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade without further introduction.
- I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
- Familiarity breeds contempt – and children.
- If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.
- Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.
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