Mark Twain Quotes – 30 Witty and Amusing Sayings by Mark Twain

Mark Twain Quotes - 30 Witty and Amusing Sayings by Mark Twain

If there were an American literature hall of fame, Mark Twain would have had a central place in it. This incredible collection of witty Mark Twain quotes is filled with a great many insights but also a refined sense of humor.

30 Witty and Amusing Sayings by Mark Twain

  1. Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.
  2. Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.
  3. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
  4. The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog.
  5. Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
  6. Worrying is like paying a debt you don’t owe.
  7. Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
  8. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
  9. Golf is a good walk spoiled.
  10. Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I’ve done it thousands of times.
  11. A person who won’t read has no advantage over one who can’t read.
  12. All generalizations are false, including this one.
  13. My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.
  14. A clear conscience is the sure sign of a bad memory.
  15. There is nothing so annoying as to have two people go right on talking when you’re interrupting.
  16. Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
  17. I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.
  18. Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.
  19. ‘Classic’ – a book which people praise and don’t read.
  20. Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.
  21. When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.
  22. Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.
  23. It’s better to keep your mouth shut and appear stupid than open it and remove all doubt.
  24. Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.
  25. A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
  26. When a man loves cats, I am his friend and comrade without further introduction.
  27. I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.
  28. Familiarity breeds contempt – and children.
  29. If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.
  30. Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

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